Standard Quit Smoking Joke

Where do I collect my $138?!?

or, Who stole my $138?!?!

You know, the money you saved? Ha. Funny. Anyways, I don't notice any extra weight in my wallet, but I should. If I bought cigs in DC, I woudl pay $7. Five and change in Virginia.

So, yeah, where's my money?!?!

Still Here

Nothing new. I keep forgetting to put my patch on.

Is It Broken for You Too?

I can't see my Quit Meter up there. Don't know why, and after a day of looking at CSS, HTML and learning about Template Variables, I can't be arsed to figure it out.

It's been 3 weeks, BTW.

Patch Dream Weirdness Continues Unabated

Or, Wherein I Snub Lindsay Lohan and Try to Seduce This Guy

I am loving these dreams, but last night's out-weirded them all.

I was a contestant on the Celebrity Apprentice (which did air last night, and which I did watch last night). The task was to host some big fancy celebrity charity event/concert. As the crowd filed in, I found myself sitting one seat away from Lindsay Lohan. She tried to say "hi" to me, but I ignored her until her need for attention from me was at a peak and I was forced to wave and say "hi" back.

A few minutes later the theater was empty because the celebs had just showed up for a quick photo op and left. Empty except for myself and Tom Green. Who I tried valiantly to seduce. I believe I told him "I need to get laid!". No dice.

But I still love him. And he is looking hot these days.

MMmmmm....Floor Cig

I was walking the dog past the construction zone in my neighborhood yesterday when I happened upon a completely whole smoke, obviously dropped (and slightly crushed) by one of the construction workers.

I did NOT pull a Homer Simpson.

Al Anon Makes Me Want to Smoke!

Well, not Al Anon, but certainly the lady that just started coming to the group who reeks of cigs. See, thing is, cigarette smoke never smelled bad to me, even before I started smoking at age 21. So I can smell this woman and know she's gonna light up and inhale deeply after the meeting. Gah! I spent the whole meeting last night being a mouthbreather.

That's Enough to Keep Me Off the Smokes

My dental bill is going to be outrageous. Like, over $5,000 outrageous.

Don't fucking smoke!